rate_review Reviews

hey great job. i was just wondering if chapter 8 was the last chapter cuz i am a wee bit confused. hey but i love your work! keep writing!!

You can't really stop now!!! Write some more soon. It's a very good story!

I have to agree with the revireviewers directly above me. I do think the story is a decent one, but it does not belong to LOTR. Your story would be far better suited to a modern day setting, rather than anything that requires a specific type of dialogue to make it sound authentic.

I got to the end of chapter two, but couldn't continue. For me, a Lord of the Rings story has to hold the proper dialogue and proper styles that would have been used back then. Novlomiel just sounds like a modern teenager, as does Legolas. Well, in fact, they all sound pretty modern. The relationship is moving a little too fast even for people who are friendly. And condoms in Middle Earth? I think the general idea in fanfiction is that protection isn't needed - Elves can't bear children unless they mutually agree, whether they go at it ten timeday day or not. It's the agreeing that consents to a child. No such thing as a condom!
This isn't a flame, I just think you need to change these things in your story if you want it to be successful - a lot of people reading these stories are perfectionists, so its best to make it into a Lord of the Rings story and not some modernised version

Doood.

Why on earth did you set thiory ory in Tolkienverse? Nothing makes sense! Medieval European politics, modern clothing and dialogue... Condoms! Whahhuh?!

I like it quite a bit. I do see the similarities in our styles...*thinks collaboration*...you should definitely do more on this one.

~Ali