schedule
July 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
(I review as I read.)
Let’s hope it’s a good 30 seconds, then.
Wow, that’s formal. Unusual to hear Sasuke give Itachi the option to leave. . . . How old are they, by the way? . . . . Ah, bargaining. (You stopped capitalizing some words for a bit there, like “Uchiha” and “Sasuke”.) . . . . Itachi’s casual threats are scary. (*shivers*) . . . . (*holds breath*) õ.õ; . . . . (*wince*) Ouch. . . . “That wasn’t something to be fucked around with.” No, it sure isn’t. . . . God, he’s mean. . . . Interesting distinction between Itachi’s hair and Sasuke’s hair. . . . While Itachi’s threats are really intimidating, there’s something that bothers me about this one: “I don’t think I need to remind you of the consequences should I feel those sharp little teeth of yours. If you fail to keep them to yourself I might well have to rip every one of them out, then make you do it again, until you get it right.” Those two sentences contradict each other a little. The first one says he doesn’t think he needs to remind Sasuke . . . but then he reminds him anyway. (*shrug*) Sounds a little awkward to me. . . . Man, he’s sick. He wants to torture Sasuke, he’s hoping to. . . . “The grin he wore was sadistic” Ahahaha, yeah. (*shudder*) . . . . “taking in the site of his brother.” You meant “sight”, not “site”. . . . Jeezus! He HAD to hit him like that, didn’t he?! ò.ó (Jerk.) . . . . Itachi really knows how to play dirty, doesn’t he? Strangely he doesn’t strike me as the guy to go back on a deal. Then again, he’s a great liar.
You know, I actually thought Sasuke was more in character than Itachi. I thought it was Itachi who was OOC.
And by the way, that was a pretty good 30 seconds. ^_^
Let’s hope it’s a good 30 seconds, then.
Wow, that’s formal. Unusual to hear Sasuke give Itachi the option to leave. . . . How old are they, by the way? . . . . Ah, bargaining. (You stopped capitalizing some words for a bit there, like “Uchiha” and “Sasuke”.) . . . . Itachi’s casual threats are scary. (*shivers*) . . . . (*holds breath*) õ.õ; . . . . (*wince*) Ouch. . . . “That wasn’t something to be fucked around with.” No, it sure isn’t. . . . God, he’s mean. . . . Interesting distinction between Itachi’s hair and Sasuke’s hair. . . . While Itachi’s threats are really intimidating, there’s something that bothers me about this one: “I don’t think I need to remind you of the consequences should I feel those sharp little teeth of yours. If you fail to keep them to yourself I might well have to rip every one of them out, then make you do it again, until you get it right.” Those two sentences contradict each other a little. The first one says he doesn’t think he needs to remind Sasuke . . . but then he reminds him anyway. (*shrug*) Sounds a little awkward to me. . . . Man, he’s sick. He wants to torture Sasuke, he’s hoping to. . . . “The grin he wore was sadistic” Ahahaha, yeah. (*shudder*) . . . . “taking in the site of his brother.” You meant “sight”, not “site”. . . . Jeezus! He HAD to hit him like that, didn’t he?! ò.ó (Jerk.) . . . . Itachi really knows how to play dirty, doesn’t he? Strangely he doesn’t strike me as the guy to go back on a deal. Then again, he’s a great liar.
You know, I actually thought Sasuke was more in character than Itachi. I thought it was Itachi who was OOC.
And by the way, that was a pretty good 30 seconds. ^_^
schedule
February 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yum, Itachi is so cruel. *shivers*
Very nice, very sexy violence. Uchihacest is sooo hot when it's painful.
btw, I didn't think Sasuke was OOC. Sub space can do that to you.
Very nice, very sexy violence. Uchihacest is sooo hot when it's painful.
btw, I didn't think Sasuke was OOC. Sub space can do that to you.
schedule
February 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like where this story is going. Would like to see a second chapter. Itachi is so delicious when he is evil >:)