rate_review Reviews

You have a lot of promise as a new writer. I loved many of the elements of your story, you managed to have Sasuke being tender and yet still in character which is a hard thing to do! But I saw you falling into some of the classic fandom tropes when it came to writing yaoi. Don't fall for the formulaic one, two, three that plagues the yaoi genre. I liked the slower pace you started out with, you should have kept with it. Also try to avoid the "purple prose" like cavern and manhood, just sticking with "himself" lends a much more personal tone to your writing. It imparts more emotion and less just physical actions. You are doing a great job and I look forward to seeing your development as a writer. The story is there, just show, don't tell. :)